Thursday, January 28, 2010

On Letting Go and Letting God

Since I was a little girl I have dreamed of being a mom.
I can't wait to have precious little ones running through our house, hear them laughing, hold them in my arms. My mom got pregnant right away when her and Dad got married, and I kind of expected the same for myself.
So here I am, 16 months and two miscarriages later, and I'm discouraged. I was 8 weeks along in my second pregnancy before I miscarried, and I was already picking out names and clothes, planning where to set up a cradle. I was watching the baby development charts. My baby's little heart was beating.
Lately I've found myself feeling sad when someone says they are pregnant or when I see a mom with a new baby, or when I see a dad playing with his little boy or girl,
totally wrapped around their little finger. Why do I do that? It's not like just because it hasn't happened for us yet it won't ever happen. Even if it never does happen, that means it wasn't God's will for Josh and I. He has other plans.

My mom has told me many times that sometimes God is just waiting for you to lay it down and leave it up to Him. It's really in His hands anyway. Sometimes He wants to hear us say, "I trust You. You know my hearts desire. Your will be done. If my will is not Your will, please help me to accept that. Please make my will, Your will."

So this is my prayer from now on. And when I hear that a friend is pregnant, I will
be so happy for them. My cousin is 4 months
along with twin boys. My best friend is pregnant with her second baby. I'm not just saying that I'll be happy. I really will be. It's such a blessing. Precious little lives being given to loving, wonderful parents.
When I see a mom with a new baby I'll enjoy that sweet picture and try to steal a little of that great joy.

When I see a dad playing with his little one,
I'll smile and enjoy the sight. Sometimes it makes me think of how God must feel for His children. He loves us so much.
Does this mean that I won't cry sometimes when I think of my babies? Of course not. Does it mean that I won't still hope and pray for children? No. It just means that from now on I won't let it rob my joy for others, and I won't worry about it. I'm going to trust God. I'm laying my desire down at His feet. I'm letting go.

This post is maybe a little uncharacteristic for me, but it's been on my mind and I wanted to share. :-)

Wednesday, January 20, 2010

Take My Life, and Let It Be

Take my life, and let it be
Consecrated, Lord, to Thee;
Take my hands and make them move
At the impulse of Thy love,
At the impulse of Thy love.

Take my feet, and let them be
Swift and beautiful for Thee;
Take my voice, and let me sing
Always, only, for my King,
Always, only, for my King.

Take my lips, and let them be
Filled with messages for Thee;
Take my silver and my gold,
Not a mite would I withhold,
Not a mite would I withhold.

Take my love, my God, I pour
At Thy feet its treasure store;
Take my-self and I will be
Ever, only, all for Thee
Ever. Only. All- For Thee.

Saturday, January 16, 2010

~ A Page From My Favorite Book! ~

Care And Affection

On the battlefield, in many terrible battles during our late horrible war, I always noticed that those boys who had been reared under the tenderest home culture always made the best soldiers They were always brave, always endured the severe hardships of camp, the march, or on the bloody field most silently, and were the most dutiful at every call. They resisted the frightful temptations that so often surrounded them, and seldom returned to their loved ones stained with the sins incident to war. They were always kind and polite to those whom they met in the enemy's country. Under their protection, women were always safe. How often I have heard one regiment compared with another, when the cause of the difference was not comprehended by those who drew the comparison! I knew the cause- it was, the home education.

The same is true every day in the busy life of the city. Gather one hundred young men in our city, and spend an evening with them, and you will know their home education. Watch them as they approach young ladies, and converse with them. You will know who has been trained under the influence of home education and politeness, and who has not.

Affection does not beget weakness, nor is it effeminate for a brother to be tenderly attached to his sisters. That boy will make the noblest, the bravest man. That young man who was accustomed to kiss his sweet, innocent, loving sister night and morning as they met, shows its influence upon him, and he will never forget it. When he shall take some one to his heart as his wife, she shall reap the golden fruit thereof. The young man who was in the habit of giving his arm to his sister as they walked to and from church, will never leave his wife to find her way as best she can. The young man who has been taught to see that his sister had a seat before he sought his, will never mortify a neglected wife in the presence of strangers. And that young man who always handed his sister to her chair at the table, will never have cause to blush as he sees some gentleman extend to his wife the courtesy she knows is due from him.

Mothers and daughters, wives and sisters, remember that you have the making of the future of this great country, and rise at once to your high and holy calling. Remember that you must make that future, whether you will or not. We are all what you make us. Ah! throw away your weakening follies of fashion, and soul famine, and rise to the level where God intended you should be, and make every one of your homes, from this day, schools of true politeness and tender affection. Take those little curly-headed boys, and teach them all you would have men to be. They will be just such men, and will go forth to bless the world, and crown you with a glory such as queens and empresses have never dreamed of. Exercise your power now, and you shall reap the fruit in your ripe age.

From the section ~ Care And Affection~ in Daughters of Destiny, by Noelle Wheeler

This is a very inspiring part of this very encouraging book. If you haven't read this book I highly recommend that you do. It is a wonderful book for ladies of all ages, in my opinion. :-)

I am excited about the opportunity and the blessing of ( Lord willing) someday teaching and guiding my own sons and daughters to be strong godly men and women. I am excited, but I am also afraid. What a huge responsibility! What an honor to be given this responsibility. Ladies, those of us who do not already have this responsibility need to be preparing diligently for this. We do not want to be learning "on the job"! It's too important for that. I am certainly no expert in child training or marriage, or life in general. :-) I have so much to learn sometimes it seems overwhelming. But ladies, lets take this very seriously and do everything in our power, with the Lords help, to prepare for this high and holy calling. I hope you are encouraged by this, and I would love to hear your thoughts!

Thursday, January 14, 2010

What Do I Know Of Holy?

I can really relate to the lyrics of this song. It's a pretty special song and I wanted to share it with you! It is JUST a song but it has some pretty powerful words. At least in my opinion. :-)

What Do I Know Of Holy by Addison Road

I made You promises a thousand times
I tried to hear from Heaven
But I talked the whole time
I think I made You too small
I never feared You at all No
If You touched my face would I know You?
Looked into my eyes could I behold You?

What do I know of You
Who spoke me into motion?
Where have I even stood
But the shore along Your ocean?
Are You fire? Are You fury?
Are You sacred? Are You beautiful?
What do I know? What do I know of Holy?

I guess I thought that I had figured You out
I knew all the stories and I learned to talk about
How You were mighty to save
Those were only empty words on a page
Then I caught a glimpse of who You might be
The slightest hint of You brought me down to my knees

What do I know of You
Who spoke me into motion?
Where have I even stood
But the shore along Your ocean?
Are You fire? Are You fury?
Are You sacred? Are You beautiful?
What do I know? What do I know of Holy?

What do I know of Holy?
What do I know of wounds that will heal my shame?
And a God who gave life its name?
What do I know of Holy?
Of the One who the angels praise?
All creation knows Your name
On earth and heaven above
What do I know of this love?

What do I know of You
Who spoke me into motion?
Where have I even stood
But the shore along Your ocean?
Are You fire? Are You fury?
Are You sacred? Are You beautiful?
What do I know? What do I know of Holy?

What do I know of Holy?
What do I know of Holy?

Monday, January 11, 2010

I Heart Faces: Best Face Photo

I had several pictures that I wanted to use for the challenge this week, but this one of my mom and my baby sister is definitely my favorite. ;-) Two of my favorite people!

Check out all of the other great pictures on I Heart Faces here.